So today's my birthday, and you're not here. My first birthday without you. You were there since the very start, the moment I was born. I grew up with you, my grandma, my idol. That's probably why I'm finding it still so hard to deal with. I had a relationship with you like no other. Though I try not to show it of course, it's impossible. I don't want to talk about it, not to upset anyone else but inside i just want to scream. The thing I'm probably missing most is your amazing advice, that sound of your voice was comfort. Our conversations are ones I will never forget, that's for sure.  If you only  knew how much you're missed. I love you x